As many of you know, I update this website primarily to stroke my already steroid-laced, miracle-gro assisted, shamu sized ego - and that being said, I only update when I'm feeling exceptionally bored or excited, because I want you to know only how much ass I am kicking, and not the horrible failures that push me to cry myself to sleep at night, develop massive ulcers, and beat small children with rocks. Woah, that's a bit of a tangent.
So, I've been prodded to update the site because apparently some people actually love reading the flurry of B.S., teen angst, bad decision making, and general awesome ness that comes from the K-Unit.
What's New:
-Nothing
-School's done. I kicked its ass
-Katari Damacy is "like totally the best video game evar"
-Dave and Kevin (my roomies) moved out. Tim and Chris (Tim's Bro) have taken their place.
-Dimitri is going to Israel
-Tug is back home doing stuff
-I'm bored
In order to fill some more space on my blog, to impress some of you, and to make others of you believe I have the coherence of Liza Minelli, I will now construct an elaborate fabrication about what I did last night:
Begin Fabrication:
So, me and Nicole Kidman were totally making out for like 27 hours last night, when her boyfriend Lenny Kravitz saw me mackin' on his babe, so I says to him, 'Step Off' and he be all 'I'ma mess up your pizza face.' So thens I totally rocked his tight as leather pants hardcore, and stole his 80,000 peso guitar. After besting the heathen, I then proceeded to do the only real thing that chamions like me do: make a bowl of Easy Mac and drink a can of Tab Cola. M... So tasty, and it tastes nothing remotely like the key on your keyboard (believe me, I know).
Feeling up for more adventure, I climbed into my hot GermItalian B.M.Lamborarische Sports Utility Supercar with optional 5th wheel drive, and messed up all the kids who drive cheap ass chevy nova's like there was no tomorrow. I turned up my stereo really loud (10dB baby!) so that everyone could hear my Bryan Adams CD, and knew that I was business like Warren Buffet. Then I found $5.01, but it was in Euro's so I had to pay a service fee, and ended up losing all my money to former NBA Great Dominque Wilkins in a game of Texas Hold Them (contract'ns totally suck).
Today's Music (Supersized for Dick Cheney Impersonators)Cursive - Am I Not Yours?
White Stripes - Blue Orchid
Aesop Rock - 9-5ers Anthem