Castlevania

The following is a true story:

Castlevania: Hey, man. Remember me? The old super nintendo game Castlevania?
Kerry: Oh boy, do I! (grins like a kid in a candy store, high on 16-bit graphical goodness)
Castlevania: Yeah, you get a whip
Kerry: oh snap! I can twirl it and shit. Don't I get to fight Dracula and kill zombies and Medusa, and aren't I all badass with the what what?
Castlevania: Right again! (Pulls out slap jack)
Kerry: Alright Sweet! 5 lives and hey, wait a second *THUNK*
Castlevania: *The sounds of Castlevania totally owning the hapless Kerry can be heard in the background*

What's the moral of this story? Castlevania is latin for copious amounts of bum reamage. It's a hard game with graphics that make the Super Mario World look like Pray. Your whip is a flacid piece of garbage, and Simon Belmont looks suspiciously like He-Man. And we all know what's up with He-Man.

Now I'm being told there's a Castlevania movie coming out? OH GOD WHY!?

Still recovering from the humiliation,

Kerry

Currently Listening To:
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